riffs on a wound being stitched together

I was going to write about something else-but it's too soon.

I feel lonely today, almost half in-half out of the world. A fair amount should be attributed to the epic Boston-like greyness of the sky on this Friday the 13th, another amount to the lack of sleep due to working when normal people should be sleeping, and the rest to that which i will not write in detail about yet.

If i'm honest, which i will not give guarantees toward, i feel nothing. I'm not sure if the nothing i feel is a symptom of the emptiness and the lack of something, if it is merely anesthesia and will soon wear off, or if it means that i am really ok, and should forget all about this crazy business of chasing after something that i honestly wasn't 100% sure about and had talked myself into in the first place.

I'm feeling better now, if only for the addition of the coffee, and the beginning of my breakfast being consumed(very thick, very salty smoked bacon, if you are curious), and breakfast always makes me feel better, especially on dark and dreary days when all the best things seem just a little out of grasp. Thank Jesus for bacon and eggs.

Oh...Baseball

I'm wearing Chacos today. That may not mean much to you, but for me, it means that a happier time of year is just around the corner. And maybe, just maybe, i can say goodbye to boots and socks and start working on my farmer's tan in earnest. But until then, i'm dreaming of blue skies and green grass and the crack of the bat. That's right, i'm talking about baseball.

Now, you might be thinking, "Yeah? I'm a fan of baseball too-I enjoy going to games and occasionally, i'll watch a game on ESPN on Sunday nights if i don't have anything else better to do."

If that's you...then i have you beat.

In the past two weeks, i've gone a little baseball crazy. I've bought a replica Boston Red Sox road jersey bearing the name of one Curt Schilling(ed. note: yes, i know that Schilling is no longer under contract for the Sox, but i feel that i needed to make that my first jersey in return for the "Bloody Sock Game"), purchased membership in the Red Sox Nation, joined three (holy crap...three) fantasy baseball leagues, worn my Red Sox hat every single day, and i'm currently (yes, right now) watching Dice-K pitch against Korea in the World Baseball Classic on MLB.TV online (which might be the absolute coolest $110 i've ever spent on anything), and i also bought tickets to go see the Sox at Fenway, and am thinking about adding three more Sox games in Baltimore and making it a baseball adventure, complete with random minor league games every day.

Let's just say that if you cut me...i might bleed out yarn. Or cork.

Also...in other news...i bought a car on tuesday. More posts to come.

bread

do we come to the table simply

because the food we once had

was good?

because we took naps

induced by the abundance

of carbohydrates?

why is it that we bend our backs

looking either up or down

for bread from heaven?

do we really have such a lack

of trust in our friends

to not look there?

or do we just not believe

that you have been here

the whole time?

lyrics from 2-1-09

bits and pieces, broken bones

together lost and searching for a home

we sound our horns of distress

praying for an answer in the night

we built our city full of walls

tensions rage from days of old

the rockets keep on falling

we can only guess where they come from

my hands are stained

with the blood of sacrifice

and i was made 

to build this peace

with these nails

and with my flesh

given for this

given for this

you have changed our given name

taught our tongues to speak of grace

we take our swords and beat them

into bits upon your love

your hands were stained

with the blood of sacrifice

you were made

to build this peace

with these nails

and with your flesh

given for this

given for this

home

I'm back home now...things were a little crazy in the District, and i wasn't able to post an update daily like i thought i would be able to. Oh well. I'm writing them up, and will post them to this site somewhat soon. Please bear with me. 

In related news, we'll be up and running tomorrow with the song lyrics from today's church service.

lyrics from 1-11-09

At church this Sunday, we finished up the series on Jacob with the story of his wrestling with the mysterious man that both blesses and breaks him.(Editor's note: i'm not sure if this will run next week, as it depends on us going to church to create it.  i'll likely know by saturday.)Here are the lyrics from this week.

i came face to face with death

and you spared me

i am undeserving of

this blessing

and i strive against this skin

that constrains me

the knives of each breath

they kill me

over and over again

i will not let you

will not let you go

i will not let you

will not let you go

i was all alone

then you were with me

i was once at ease

but now i'm drowning

i hold fast to my life

lest you take it

you touch me one last time

i am laid waste

all my strength is gone

i will not let you

will not let you go

i will not let you

will not let you go

meditation on nehemiah 7

oh what joy it is

to come home again

to count the hairs

on every head

of every man

woman

child

see the faces

the tears

of joy of beholding

what had been long lost

and now is real again

the gates

the walls

safety

hope

life

brick

by

blessed

brick

built again

oh what joy it is

to come home again